Corona Virus: Careless People

I had not planned to write something on the Corona virus. What meaningful content could I produce that was not out there yet? But the point has come where I need to reflect on a few things for myself. So why not share this …

My overall take is that there is a remarkable number of people out there who combine ignorance (I only believe what I see and/or understand) and lack of compassion (it’s ok as long as I don’t die). Or is it simply selfishness? I mean, how can anyone in their right mind accept the fact that there is a risk of someone else dying, just because he or she “needs” to  party?

When I grew up, my parents (born in the early 1940s) would occasionally talk about things they remembered from their early childhood. E.g. the extreme winter of 1946/47 where it was so cold in the house that water froze in the jar over night. Or how it was common to walk to school for at least 30 minutes one way regardless of the weather. It never frightened me, but in hindsight I guess that it instilled a feeling of being thankful for what my sister and I did not have to endure.

Both my parents had had a happy childhood. Very modest by today’s standards, but with loving parents that were understanding and forgiving. But there had also been rules and all this was passed on to us children (born in the mid-1970s). So my sister and I learned a decent amount of discipline, but there was also a lot of freedom and fun.

In addition we experienced a few setbacks that our parents had carefully selected for learning. During those “exercises” it was always clear to us that nothing catastrophic would come our way. But we learned that life is not always fair, that we do not always get what we want (may we deserve it or not), and that we are not “special”. (We knew that we were special for our parents, though.) All in all this made us somewhat modest, resilient, and compassionate.

What I have often seen in education over the last 15 to 20 years is that parents long to make their children happy all the time. To keep any hardship away from them. This is done with the best of intentions, but it is not the parents’ job. What they need to do is prepare the children for an independent life. Yes, that includes fun, freedom, a safe harbor, etc. But it also requires learning how to deal with rules, frustration, setbacks, and all sorts of challenges.

Most importantly children need to learn that it is not always about them. That they are part of a community (in fact of many communities with a different role in each of them) where it is often necessary to compromise. Personal freedom has its limits where it affects others in a negative way. But how can children develop a sense for this, if they get what they want all the time?

The teenagers that go out and party, risking to infect others who might die as a consequence, are not the ones to blame. Responsible are those who failed to instill the right values and behaviors into them. Yes, that may include the parents. But society as  a whole is to blame as well. And this is where I have hope that at least one positive thing may come out of the Corona crisis (although the price is terrible). That we will start to reflect on what is critical for society as a whole and how to make it part of our lives.

Good luck to all of us!

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